Tag Archives: dad

Voices of Hope: 5 Things We Learned While Waiting for a Transplant

Allen “Monty” Scott is living with end-stage congestive heart failure. He needs a heart-kidney transplant to live a healthy life. Monty’s wife, Nicole, and his children, Marquise and Talia, have been steadfast sources of support for their father as he’s faced medication changes, hospitalizations, rigorous physical therapy and ongoing health challenges.

You learn to take the good, the bad and the ugly on a journey like this,” wrote Nicole, “but when you wake up the next morning, it’s a brand new day!” Here, Monty and his family members explain what else they’ve learned on the road to transplant.

Monty Scott HelpHOPELive

Monty, left, with his wife and two children


Your family can be a guiding light while you are waiting for a transplant.


Monty: My family has made this journey easier because I don’t have to experience it alone.

Nicole: We have all been actively involved since his diagnosis 10 years ago. We are a strong support system for him, and our community, church and friends have all been very supportive as well. Enjoy every moment of family time, because it is truly a gift. We are tightly knit and that’s the best part.

Marquise: We give him vitality – reason and motivation to keep moving forward. We make the journey easier for him and do things for him that he might not be able to do for himself right now. In addition to the fundraising, our family and community also raise awareness for heart disease.

Monty Scott HelpHOPELive

Monty and family attended the 2016 Heart Walk to raise awareness

No matter what challenges you encounter, try to live your life the best you can to leave a good example for your kids. Be there for your kids 110% so your kids will be there for you 110%. Life is good, and it’s about choices. The choice we make about my dad’s condition is to be there with him every step of the way. My dad and I have a great relationship based on trust, love, teaching and admiration. It is awe-inspiring. It’s a relationship I would like to photocopy and build on with my own kids one day.

Monty Scott HelpHOPELive

“My family has made this journey easier because I don’t have to experience it alone.”

Talia: Whenever we go to the hospital, we always ask questions about how to care for him. We learn about his condition and the medical equipment he needs and we try to absorb it all. You need patience in order to be a father figure for someone. He is always there for us and we can joke around with each other. He always has a bright smile, and I love him. I love the overwhelming amount of strength we have for one another as a family.

Monty Scott HelpHOPELive

Monty’s family supports him during his transplant preparations


The out-of-pocket expenses will surprise you.


Nicole: During a change in our insurance, medications were running low and running out, and we ended up paying out of pocket for some of those costs. Without the meds, Monty’s health declines quickly and his levels are off, which may require an ER visit or even a trip to Tufts to fix.

Monty Scott HelpHOPELive

Home health care is among the out-of-pocket costs Monty faces daily

Talia: Our hospital at Tufts is two hours away from where we live, so in addition to fundraising for things that come up unexpectedly, we also fundraise for trips back and forth to the hospital.

Monty: I realized how expensive this journey can be when my insurance was in transition and we were responsible for those additional out-of-pocket costs. Fundraising with HelpHOPELive is fantastic! It helps to bring awareness to my condition while spreading awareness of how HelpHOPELive can help other people.


Staying positive is possible, but it’s not easy.


Monty: It is a blessing to be on the list, but if your wait is long it can weigh heavily on your mind. Stay strong mentally, because you would be surprised how much your mental state can affect your health. I try to keep it all in perspective.

Nicole: When you are actively involved but you can’t do anything to fix it, you feel helpless sometimes. Organ donation can be a difficult decision for some, so there is a limited availability of organs, making the wait long. Sometimes listed patients don’t make it through the wait. It can become depressing, but there are a lot of resources out there that can help; fundraise with HelpHOPELive! The support system around you helps to alleviate some of the burden.

Monty Scott HelpHOPELive

“Fundraise with HelpHOPELive!” advises Monty’s wife

Marquise: Dealing with a chronic health condition makes your family mature faster, especially the kids. It’s painful. I never can do enough, I feel. It’s even more challenging because it is my father’s heart, the motor of his body. After an egg is fertilized it’s only about a week until that heart starts to beat. It’s scary because you don’t know when or if you are going to get a new heart, whether or not your body will reject that heart and a multitude of other serious concerns.

Talia: You get a little impatient when waiting for a heart because waiting for an organ is not like walking into a store and just buying something off the shelf. There is pain and it hurts and you want to be able to help and you can only do so much. We all deal with the challenges in a way where it doesn’t take so much of a toll on us. You have to try to distract yourself and keep thinking about the good stuff in life.


Rallying your community can provide financial and emotional support.


Monty: Many people have supported me, whether it be through fundraising or just words of encouragement. Parents at my daughter’s school have put together fundraisers and so have my college friends. Our local newspaper kindly wrote my story and it headlined in the paper the next day, drawing awareness to my condition and HelpHOPELive. There are other efforts in progress as well so my community has most definitely shown an outpouring of support.

Monty Scott HelpHOPELive

The “Lend A Hand For A Heart” fundraiser in honor of Monty

Nicole: At first, when it came to fundraising, I thought, “I don’t want to feel as though we have our hands out.” As we advanced through the process and came across the difficulties and the constant cost of the littlest things adding up, we started thinking rationally. That rational thought is, you just cannot do this alone.

Monty Scott HelpHOPELive

Monty’s fellow high school alumni support his fundraising efforts

After putting your pride aside, you see the angels that God has put on Earth to help. They come in the form of family, friends, associates, neighbors and strangers. You just can’t see them when you are too proud to accept their help. I like the way that HelpHOPELive is managed, and it legitimizes fundraising for medical causes like Monty’s.

We fundraise in Monty’s honor and we have a small fundraising team that formed because others wanted to lend a hand. They have taken the reins and have planned fundraisers on their own to support Monty. We live in a beautiful small town where everybody knows everybody. Many have raised generations of families here in Newport (add city). Our church is supporting Monty and other churches are signing on as well. They all want to help.

Monty Scott HelpHOPELive

A “Comedy Night” fundraiser brought Monty’s community together

Marquise: HelpHOPELive simplifies the fundraising process and puts it on a level that is more understandable and that makes it easier for contributors to donate.

Talia: Fundraising with HelpHOPELive helps us to take care of things and keep things organized. It allows us to go through this journey without mounting expenses.

Monty Scott HelpHOPELive

“HelpHOPELive…allows us to go through this journey without mounting expenses.”


Transplants change lives.


Monty: To me, a transplant means an opportunity to go back to normal.

Talia: A transplant means not having to say, “Wait, Dad, do you have the extra batteries!?” Also, not having to see my dad bogged down with all this equipment connected to him so he can be more mobile on his own. It’ll be a good chance and a happy one for my dad. I want to let the donor and their family know that they are giving a gift that only they, God and the medical teams can give. Thank you for giving my dad a second chance at life.

Nicole: After transplant there will continue to be more big changes to our lives. We will find out what our new normal will be as a family, which will be one challenge. How involved we will or will not be with the donor family might be a challenge as well.  I send an entire world of thanks and gratitude to our future donor and donor family. Yours is a gift that there are no words for and thank you just doesn’t say enough. God bless you.

Monty Scott HelpHOPELive

“A transplant means an opportunity to go back to normal.”


Support Monty and his family as he waits for a lifesaving transplant at helphopelive.org. You can start a fundraiser with our nonprofit in honor of someone you know who is waiting for a transplant of any kind. Donations are tax deductible. Learn more on our website

Voices of Hope: “There Is Always Someone To Lean On”

Husband and father Martin Vece has served the community for decades as a performer and teacher. We asked Marty how his wife and three daughters help him to cope with the emotional, physical and financial challenges of life on the transplant waiting list.

Martin Vece HelpHOPELive heart transplant

Marty with his family at UCLA


In November of 2014, I was informed by my doctors at UCLA that I would need a heart transplant. Because of an impending lung issue, I would first have to go through open heart surgery for an LVAD. In December of 2014, I had to immediately relocate my entire family from Las Vegas to Los Angeles as I recovered from the procedure. I knew in that moment that we were in some incredibly deep financial trouble.

I had to remain in Los Angeles for a minimum of sixth months after the LVAD surgery. My doctors required me to have a caretaker for that entire period. We asked several members of our family to stay with me in LA, but everyone we asked was not able to do it. There was no choice but for my wife and kids to come with me.

Martin Vece HelpHOPELive heart transplant

Marty begins walking after the LVAD surgery

When I was in the hospital getting the LVAD surgery, it was my wife who, over a period of three days, packed up all our things, rented a U-Haul truck, found housing for us in LA, took our girls out of school and registered them in LA, and found people to help her move everything we needed into an apartment. She truly was Superwoman. We were finally able to move back to Las Vegas in June of 2015.

Because Las Vegas does not have its own transplant facility, when I get ‘the call’ for a heart transplant, I will have to go on a leave of absence from work and relocate to Los Angeles again to be near UCLA for roughly six months while I recover from the surgery. I am currently fundraising to cover my medical and related expenses, including uninsured doctor’s bills and medication costs that come in monthly. With HelpHOPELive fundraising helping me to pay for medical and related costs, it frees up money to help with general bills and cost-of-living expenses so I can take care of my wife and family.

Martin Vece HelpHOPELive heart transplant

An update on Marty’s HelpHOPELive page explains financial burdens

Chronic health issues have created multiple challenges for me and my family. The stress has been ridiculous as I cope with my health issues and my wife tries to raise three young girls and support me at the same time. The financial stress of my illness has been significant. It’s continuous, because even after the transplant my uninsured medical expenses will continue to stack up. I will have to continue to fundraise for my entire life.

With a little bit of my energy and time, I coordinate all of my fundraising activities on my own. My wife is busy taking care of the girls, taking care of me and running the household. It can be surprising when extended family members and friends don’t step up to help with fundraising. Since my heart issues have taken a turn for the worse, I have learned a lot about who in your life really sticks by you through the tough times and who abandons you.

HelpHOPELive has been a godsend. Before I started working with HelpHOPELive, I didn’t have a clue about how to conduct grassroots fundraising. I have become educated very quickly with the guidance I have received from HelpHOPELive. It really helps that the organization allows me to fundraise through a 501(c)(3). It gives your illness some credibility: HelpHOPELive verifies medical need, and I think people feel a little safer donating money with assurance that the cause is legitimate.

Martin Vece HelpHOPELive heart transplant

HelpHOPELive lends credibility to Marty’s fundraising efforts

I find it to be a great challenge to remain positive while on the transplant waiting list. For some of us, it is a really long wait, and it becomes challenging when you are dealing with medical issues day in and day out. I honestly don’t know where I would be without my family. They keep me grounded and focused on living for each and every day. But it has not been easy. I seem to weave in and out of periodic states of depression. During those times, I just keep saying to myself that I’m lucky to be alive. Without modern technology, I would have been gone a long time ago. I try to look at what I have and what I am grateful for, not what I’m missing. Positive thinking is crucial to get you through those dark periods.

My family members, close friends and co-workers provide a strong emotional support system for me. My relationship with my wife and three daughters is incredible. They have played a tremendous role in my health journey in that they have been there with me every step of the way. I don’t know if I could get through each day dealing with all of my medical issues without them at my side.

My two oldest daughters are nine and eight years old, and they understand my medical condition and limitations very well. They help me with little things like bending over and picking things up for me, helping me carry things, or getting something for me because I’m out of breath. These little acts of assistance help me physically get through each day. My girls are great because they know that I can’t play soccer with them, roughhouse, or do anything else on that physical level, so instead, we take advantage of other ways to spend quality time together. We do homework together, play board games, watch TV and go for slow walks together.

Martin Vece HelpHOPELive heart transplant

Marty’s wife and daughters are a strong source of support

The best part about my family is our love for each other. We all support one another. No matter what is going on, there is always someone to lean on. My advice to a new father is, don’t think you can be selfish. To be a good father, you have to be willing to make sacrifices for your children. When I was little, my mother used to say, “I go without so you can have [what you need]. I would take the food out of my own mouth to put it in yours.” My mother had a great impact on me and now that I am a father, I truly understand what she meant.

After transplant, I look forward to getting out of the house. I want to run and run and run and run. I can’t wait to do physical activities again. I want to play sports and do musical theater and chase my kids around for hours. I want to go into the ocean and splash around with my family. I want to take dance classes with my girls. My girls and my family are my world. It’s hard to imagine, now, that I had a life before they arrived.

Martin Vece HelpHOPELive heart transplant

Marty wants to run, play sports and chase his kids around after transplant


Learn more about Marty and his family or donate in his honor at helphopelive.org. Help us celebrate strong fathers this month! Do you know a father who is living with a challenging chronic health condition? Submit his name to HelpHOPELive and he could be featured in our next Blog post!