Tag Archives: spinal injury tips

Finding Joy After Injury: 11 Quotes From Dan Gottlieb

Here are 11 powerful quotes from Dr. Dan Gottlieb on love, loss and recovery after a spinal cord injury. Dr. Gottlieb became paralyzed from the chest down in a car accident in 1979. Having survived years of struggle and personal loss, today, Dr. Gottlieb maintains a private psychology practice, lectures and trains health care professionals, and hosts WHYY Philadelphia’s Voices in the Family broadcast.

Dr. Dan Gottlieb, Voices in the Family, NPR, WHYY

All content provided courtesy of the Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation via the Foundation-hosted webinar “Dr. Dan on Finding Joy,” August 5, 2015.


On Redefining Joy After Injury:

The definition of joy can change based on an individual’s abilities and circumstances. With a broken neck, I could no longer be the person I thought I should be or the person I would have been or wanted to be. I had no choice but to be the person I am today. When you give up the battle to be someone or something else, you start to look at the world differently. You can lower the bar to what gives you joy; you lower that bar low enough and pure joy is easy to find.

meditation

Take time to appreciate small blessings.

When you’re no longer pursuing an artificial definition of happiness, all of a sudden, the air smells cleaner. At this moment, perhaps you can breathe without coughing. Joy is right there, in that moment.


On Finding Joy By Helping Others:

Joy happens most often when we’re not thinking about ourselves. We are hardwired to help each other. That’s why when someone suffers or is crying, our hearts open. When you want joy and want to feel good, help another feel good, whether that being is a child, an adult, or an animal. The act of expressing care and compassion brings joy. If you don’t feel it, help someone else feel it, and then you will feel it yourself.

caring for child

Caring for others can help you feel joyful again.


On Finding Joy Through Gratitude:

I find joy whenever I: realize that this day is precious; appreciate the fragility of life, knowing deep down that this might be our last day, our last year or our last summer.

sunrise

Viewing life as precious can improve your outlook.


On Accepting Love:

Fear and resentment interfere with our ability to experience love. Let love contribute to the healing in [your] heart. Love is the only vehicle that can help us find peace. On my deathbed, I want to be surrounded with love and be able to love until my last minute. I want to feel that love until my last breath.

afraid girl

Fear can make it difficult for us to accept love.

The most difficult and the most generous part of love comes when someone you love suffers. Be with them. When I find myself in a deep, dark place, I want to be with someone who loves me enough to sit there with me, not a cheerleader to tell me there’s light at the other end. Sit with me in my helplessness and then I will feel your love.


On Overcoming Judgment From Others:

Too many of us see ourselves based on our wheelchairs. We have to see ourselves as complete people. All of us have been [judged] based on the color of our skin, or what we believe, or where we pray, or what we’ve done. Very few people are able to look into our eyes and see our heart and soul. Make a heartfelt commitment to never place that kind of judgment on someone else. When you encounter another, look into their eyes, acknowledge their humanity. That alone will make you feel better.

eyes

When you meet someone, look in their eyes and acknowledge them.


On Discovering Self-Love:

There’s an old Sufi saying: ‘When the heart weeps for what it has lost, the spirit laughs for what it has found.’ Put your hand over your heart and see if you can find kindness, compassion and even love for this [person] whose life has been torn apart.

mirror reflection

Can you find love for the person you see in the mirror?

No one is going to understand your suffering as well as you do. Take a half hour a day to connect with [yourself].


On Pushing Through Pain:

Pain is a demanding companion. You try to look outside, and the pain says, NO – you’re paying attention to ME. If we can sit with that pain and have a heartfelt wish for compassion and kindness for everybody in the world who feels more pain than we do in that moment, it helps us get out of our heads. It changes the story, and that is everything.

ocean gray cloudy gaze

Send out a wish for compassion to combat your pain.


On Humor:

If I were asked to consult on the second edition of the Ten Commandments, one of my commandments would be, ‘Thou shalt not take thyself too seriously.’

laugh

“Thou shalt not take thyself too seriously.”


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Best-Ever Advice After A Spinal Cord Injury

We asked four HelpHOPELive clients to answer a single question.The result is a series of powerful insights for anyone who is struggling to keep moving forward after a debilitating injury.


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1

“The journey gets easier over time. The first few years are the hardest post-injury, when you are trying to adjust to your body’s physical changes and all that comes with those changes.

If you’re interested in adaptive hobbies and athletics, a good way to start is to search for adaptive sports programs in your area. If there is a specific hobby you’re interested in, search for meet-ups or local clubs for that hobby. Talk to others who have your condition and are already doing the things you would like to be doing.

There are so many resources for support and information, and they are all at your fingertips. You can use social networks like Facebook to find and network with others who have spinal cord injuries.”

Robert


2

“Do the best with what you have and take control of your own care. Follow research in spinal cord injury therapy and stay involved.

Do not give up on recovering functionality and making gains through hard work. Keep your body in shape and ready for the treatments that will come – I hope that they arrive sooner rather than later.”

Brian


 

4

“Don’t give up. Our bodies want to heal if we will let them. Keep moving as much as possible and know that it will get easier and your body will get stronger.”

Rachael


3

“Get out there and try anything and everything you can. Today there are so many options when it comes to adaptive sports and activities, with new ones being invested every day.

There is no excuse not to try to search for something that you will love to do.

Don’t be scared just because someone with a similar disability can’t or doesn’t do something. You can be as happy or as upset about your injury and your life as you choose to be. It’s entirely up to you.”

Kirk


What’s your best piece of advice for someone who has recently sustained a spinal cord injury? Share it with us on Facebook or on Twitter.